Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Failure or just unlucky?

I have been back for 3 months and I think there quite a lot of things happened. Whether it is good, bad, sad or happy.. I think i did encountered it in this few months. I have had few friends from other places visited me in Penang, my aunt came back from Sweden, holidays in few places and also last but not least, the Chinese New Year celebration. Ha ha, it's all over for a few months now. I think i should proceed to what I am suppose to do when i am back here. Which is finding a job. But i have been job-hunting for 2 to 3 months now, but i am not sure whether i am such failure or is it that i am so unlucky.

I am feeling the frustration after I have went to around 8 interviews and i haven't got any real successful applications for work. I am starting to feel the pressure now. Whenever i am online talking to some friends, they will ask whether i had start working or not. I will tell them i haven't work yet, but maybe it's my ego, i will felt sad when they asked me that. Maybe i am not good enough for the job, maybe i am not convincing enough or maybe it's their loss. But one thing i am sure is that i am still jobless and i need to work. Not just to show to my friends, as this is not important but it's about myself. Maybe i have been given myself too much pressure in this short period of time. Maybe i should just relax and enjoy the holiday as i have been studied for a long period of time for 5 years.

Other than that, I also have to take time to heal my hand as I inflicted an bone injury on my right wrist while i was holidaying in Genting while it is in January. But it haven't recovered till now, so i went to the Chinese medical for massage and they found that my bone was injured a bit and my hand was bandage for around 2 weeks to let the bone mold back together and avoid my wrist movement. After that few days ago, i went to open the bandage and the master told me that my hand wouldn't be as normal or as powerful as before because the wounded place are too near to the wrist. And the wrist can't bend fully now. What could i ask more for a freak accident. Damn. I felt sad for that as my right hand was the dominant hand and now i can't even punch. I was quite interested in kickboxing in fact i learn before for a year. And now, i guess i can't go to the class as often as i like for now. Maybe this is the karma for punching too much walls. Sad. That is pure frustration for now. Sigh.. But maybe after going for some physio by myself, maybe i can recover but not 100% as before. I just need time...

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